A Door Closes, a Room Opens – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
From the book – Chapter 2: Psychology, Psychiatry and Counselling
A Door Closes, a Room Opens
Daniel was fifty-two, a regional manager in Nairobi, when his company closed its office and he was let go after twenty-three years. For weeks he told everyone he was fine. At home he was short-tempered with his wife Grace, scrolled job sites at midnight, and wondered who he was without his title.
Grace suggested he talk to a counsellor. Daniel bristled. 'I am not ill,' he said. Grace replied, 'I did not say you are ill. I said you are going through a big change.' He agreed to one session at a community centre.
What this story explains
This story shows what counselling is and what it helps with: life transitions, career decisions, stress management and family conflict. It illustrates that talking with a trained person is practical and respectful, not only for 'serious' illness.
How to recognise it
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A major life transition such as job loss, retirement, migration or marriage that shakes identity.
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Irritability, avoidance of talking, sleep trouble and constant checking of options.
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Statements like 'I am fine' that sit alongside obvious strain.
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Shame or fear of the future rather than a clear illness.
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Mood that stays low or loses all interest for weeks, which may need medical care.
What to do
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Acknowledge the change as a real loss, even if it is not an illness.
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Look for a trained counsellor and check their qualifications and approach.
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Break big decisions into small weekly steps.
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Keep daily routine, movement and contact with friends.
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Agree with the counsellor how to review progress and when to involve a doctor.
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Include the family in some conversations when appropriate.
Do and don’t
| Do | Don’t |
|---|---|
| Do treat a big change as worthy of support. | Don't hide the change from the family. |
| Do give counselling a few sessions to see if it helps. | Don't judge yourself by a job title. |
| Do keep a simple daily routine. | Don't rely on alcohol to cope. |
| Do let family know how they can help. | Don't make big decisions in the worst hour of the night. |
| Do list your strengths on paper. | Don't expect instant answers. |
Read the full chapter – Chapter 2: Psychology, Psychiatry and Counselling
Stories from real life
- Who Should We See First? – Anita, twenty-six, had been having panic attacks on her commute to Bengaluru for three months. Her heart pounded, her hands tingled and she was sure she…
- The Man with the Guaranteed Cure – Sunita's twenty-year-old son Vikas had been hearing whispers and becoming suspicious of the neighbours. He stopped studying and stayed awake at night. Frightened, Sunita asked everyone…
- Second Opinions and Small Pills of Fear – Kwame, thirty, lived in Accra and had been through a long stretch of low mood, poor sleep and no appetite. His family doctor sent him to…
- The Wrong Door – Imagine a father who is terrified. His son has not slept a single minute in four straight days. His mind is racing, his body is exhausted,…
Shloks
- Bhagavad Gita 14.5 – Sattva, rajas, and tamas — qualities born of material nature (prakriti) — bind the eternal soul to the body, O mighty-armed Arjuna.
- Bhagavad Gita 4.34 – Know that by approaching with respect, by questioning, and by service. Those who see will teach you.
More on this topic: What is mental health? A simple guide to the mind and who can help
More questions
- The Man with the Guaranteed Cure – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
- Second Opinions and Small Pills of Fear – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
- What can we learn from the story “The Wrong Door”?
- What can we learn from the story “Licence Before Sofa”?
- Understanding psychology – psychology, psychiatry and counselling
- Why the definition matters in a house?
- Understanding psychiatry – psychology, psychiatry and counselling
- In more depth – psychiatry
- Understanding counselling – psychology, psychiatry and counselling
- A Safe Space is Not a Strategy – counselling
- Psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor – what is the difference?
- Early warning signs of mental distress