Psychology for Everyone

A Door Closes, a Room Opens – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do

From the book – Chapter 2: Psychology, Psychiatry and Counselling

A Door Closes, a Room Opens

Daniel was fifty-two, a regional manager in Nairobi, when his company closed its office and he was let go after twenty-three years. For weeks he told everyone he was fine. At home he was short-tempered with his wife Grace, scrolled job sites at midnight, and wondered who he was without his title.

Grace suggested he talk to a counsellor. Daniel bristled. 'I am not ill,' he said. Grace replied, 'I did not say you are ill. I said you are going through a big change.' He agreed to one session at a community centre.

What this story explains

This story shows what counselling is and what it helps with: life transitions, career decisions, stress management and family conflict. It illustrates that talking with a trained person is practical and respectful, not only for 'serious' illness.

How to recognise it

  • A major life transition such as job loss, retirement, migration or marriage that shakes identity.

  • Irritability, avoidance of talking, sleep trouble and constant checking of options.

  • Statements like 'I am fine' that sit alongside obvious strain.

  • Shame or fear of the future rather than a clear illness.

  • Mood that stays low or loses all interest for weeks, which may need medical care.

What to do

  1. Acknowledge the change as a real loss, even if it is not an illness.

  2. Look for a trained counsellor and check their qualifications and approach.

  3. Break big decisions into small weekly steps.

  4. Keep daily routine, movement and contact with friends.

  5. Agree with the counsellor how to review progress and when to involve a doctor.

  6. Include the family in some conversations when appropriate.

Do and don’t

Do Don’t
Do treat a big change as worthy of support. Don't hide the change from the family.
Do give counselling a few sessions to see if it helps. Don't judge yourself by a job title.
Do keep a simple daily routine. Don't rely on alcohol to cope.
Do let family know how they can help. Don't make big decisions in the worst hour of the night.
Do list your strengths on paper. Don't expect instant answers.

Read the full story

Read the full chapter – Chapter 2: Psychology, Psychiatry and Counselling

Stories from real life

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Shloks

  • Bhagavad Gita 14.5 – Sattva, rajas, and tamas — qualities born of material nature (prakriti) — bind the eternal soul to the body, O mighty-armed Arjuna.
  • Bhagavad Gita 4.34 – Know that by approaching with respect, by questioning, and by service. Those who see will teach you.

More on this topic: What is mental health? A simple guide to the mind and who can help

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