Too Loud, Too Quiet – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do

From the book – Chapter 6: The Five Senses and Mental Health

Too Loud, Too Quiet

At a family wedding in Kochi, eight-year-old Nila covered her ears, hid under a table and then screamed when an aunt tried to hug her. The music was loud, the lights were flashing, the hall smelt of strong perfume and flowers, and the silk of her new dress itched. Her mother, Divya, felt embarrassed and then guilty.

Divya took her to a quiet side room, dimmed the lights and sat with her, saying little. She rubbed Nila's back only after asking, 'Would you like a hug or just me sitting here?' Nila whispered, 'Just sitting.' After ten minutes of slow breathing and a sip of water, Nila calmed. Divya realised her daughter was overloaded: too many sights, sounds, smells and textures at once.

What this story explains

This story shows sensory overload and sensory deprivation, and how touch and boundaries matter. It teaches that people differ in sensitivity, and that both too much and too little stimulation can upset the mind.

How to recognise it

Covering ears, hiding, meltdown or irritability in noisy, bright or crowded places.
Discomfort with certain clothes, textures or smells.
Calming quickly when taken to a quiet place.
The opposite: loneliness, long hours in a dark, silent or inactive environment.
Difficulties that happen often and affect school, family events or daily life.

What to do

Move to a quieter, calmer space and reduce stimulation.
Ask before touching or hugging, and respect the answer.
Use earplugs, sunglasses or soft clothing when needed.
Offer slow breathing or simple grounding, such as noticing five things you can see.
Give advance notice of loud or crowded events and plan breaks.
For isolated people, add gentle company, daylight, music and activity.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do ask before touching.	Don't force hugs or kisses.
Do offer quiet breaks.	Don't scold a child for sensory distress.
Do prepare the child in advance.	Don't drag someone out of a quiet room.
Do keep older people connected.	Don't leave elders alone for days.
Do keep the tone gentle.	Don't dismiss sensitivity as 'fussy'.

Read the full story

Read the full chapter – Chapter 6: The Five Senses and Mental Health

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Shloks

Bhagavad Gita 15.9 – Presiding over ear, eye, touch, taste and smell, and over the mind, the person enjoys the objects.

More on this topic: The five senses, the five elements and the mind

Too Loud, Too Quiet – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do