Psychology for Everyone

Assertiveness – the building blocks of good communication

From the book – Chapter 34: Relationships and Communication

. Assertiveness

There are four styles of communication:

Style What it sounds like Effect
Passive “Oh, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” (when you do) Resentment, being taken advantage of
Aggressive “You never listen! Do it my way.” Fear, conflict, damaged trust
Passive-aggressive Silent treatment, sarcasm, “forgetting” Confusion, mistrust
Assertive “I understand your view, and my view is different. Here’s what I need.” Respect, clarity, healthy relationships

Assertiveness is respectful honesty: standing up for your rights and needs while respecting those of others. It can be learned.

#### A simple assertiveness formula

“When (behaviour), I feel (emotion), because (reason). I would like (request).”

Example: “When meetings start late, I feel stressed because I have to rush my other tasks. I would like us to start on time.”

Read the full chapter – Chapter 34: Relationships and Communication

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