The antidotes – handling conflict

From the book – Chapter 34: Relationships and Communication

The antidotes

Replace criticism with a gentle start: raise concerns kindly, using “I” statements.
Replace contempt with appreciation: build a culture of respect and thanks.
Replace defensiveness with taking some responsibility: “You’re right, I didn’t consider that.”
Replace stonewalling with self-soothing: take a 20-minute break and return.

Three Hundred Contacts and Nobody to Call – Lena, twenty-six, moved to Toronto for a software job. She had hundreds of contacts on her phone and two video calls a week with her family…
Three Words He Always Said – Carla and Diego, married eleven years in Mexico City, had the same argument most nights. She would say, 'You never help. You are just like your…
I Am Happy to Talk, But Not Like This – Thabo, thirty-three, from Johannesburg, said yes to everything. He covered shifts for colleagues, lent money to his cousin who never returned it, and answered his mother's…
She Stopped Seeing Her Friends – Ruth, twenty-eight, from Glasgow, met Callum at a party, and he was charming. After a year she noticed small changes. He checked her phone, was angry…