The Empty Flat on Raja Street – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do

From the book – Chapter 31: Later-Life and Dementia-Related Care

The Empty Flat on Raja Street

Mr Fernandes, seventy, lived alone in Mumbai since his wife died and his children moved abroad. He ate lunch at a different tiffin place each day only to hear other voices. Lately even that stopped because his knees hurt and the stairs felt long.

He began to worry about everything: his pension, his blood pressure, whether his son would call. He lay awake with a tight chest and kept going to the clinic for the same complaint. The tests were normal, but the worry was not.

What this story explains

This story shows the load of later life: bereavement, loneliness, pain and reduced mobility, and how anxiety in older people often shows up as worry about health, money and family, eased by regular social contact and meaningful activity.

How to recognise it

Increasing isolation after bereavement, retirement or children moving away.
Excess worry about health, money or family, with restlessness and muscle tension.
Broken sleep, repeated clinic visits, and normal test results.
Reduced mobility or pain that cuts off social life.
Statements that suggest being forgotten or a burden.

What to do

Visit or call regularly, with a specific time each week.
Ask about his day and his past, and listen.
Check pain, hearing, eyesight and mobility with a doctor.
Connect him to a community group, faith group or lunch club.
Encourage gentle activity such as walking or chair exercises.
See a doctor if worry, low mood or sleeplessness continue.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do be regular and reliable.	Don't assume he prefers being alone.
Do invite him to community activities.	Don't dismiss repeat visits as nagging.
Do ask about worries.	Don't make decisions for him without asking.
Do treat pain.	Don't talk down to him.
Do respect his independence.	Don't leave him unvisited for long.

Read the full story

Read the full chapter – Chapter 31: Later-Life and Dementia-Related Care

Stories from real life

Just Getting Old, Said the Family – Mr Hargreaves, seventy-two, had been a head teacher in Manchester. Since retiring two years ago and losing his wife last winter, he had stopped going to…
Where Did I Put the Keys, Again? – Mrs Lakshmi, seventy-eight, lived with her son Arvind and his wife in Chennai. For the last year she had been repeating questions, leaving the gas on…
The Carer Who Forgot Herself – Grace, fifty-eight, had cared for her husband Tom in Cork since his dementia diagnosis three years earlier. He no longer knew the day, woke at night,…
When Dad Became Another Person – After two small strokes, Mr Okafor, seventy-six, was living in Lagos with his daughter, Chidinma. Over the last year he had become confused in the evenings,…

More on this topic: Ageing well, memory loss and dementia – caring for elders

The Empty Flat on Raja Street – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do