The Message at Midnight – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
From the book – Chapter 9: Depression and Low Mood
The Message at Midnight
Daniel, twenty-four, lives in Leeds and shares a flat with two friends. He has lost his job, his relationship ended, and for weeks he has barely left his room. One night he sends a message to his friend Chris: "Sorry for everything. You'll be better off without me." Then his phone goes silent.
Chris is frightened. He wonders if he is overreacting, but remembers that people who write such things often mean them. He phones Daniel several times, then rings the flat landline. When Daniel finally answers, his voice is flat. Chris says, "I am worried about you. Are you thinking about ending your life?" After a pause, Daniel says yes.
What this story explains
This story shows depression and suicide risk, and that asking directly and getting urgent help can save a life.
How to recognise it
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Talk of being a burden, hopelessness or goodbyes, even in a message or joke.
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Withdrawal, giving things away, sudden calm after deep low mood.
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Recent losses such as a job, relationship or loved one.
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Increased drinking or substance use.
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Previous attempts or self-harm, which raise the risk.
What to do
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Take every sign seriously and act, even if you are unsure.
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Ask directly and kindly: "Are you thinking of ending your life?" Asking does not plant the idea.
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Stay with the person or keep talking until help is with them.
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Contact the local emergency number or take them to the nearest hospital.
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Remove access to anything that could be used for harm, without a fight.
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Afterwards, support follow-up with a doctor and keep checking in.
Do and don’t
| Do | Don’t |
|---|---|
| Stay calm and present. | Do not promise to keep it secret. |
| Listen without judging. | Do not argue, preach or say 'think of your family'. |
| Say you care. | Do not leave them alone in danger. |
| Get help right away. | Do not dismiss it as attention-seeking. |
| Follow up in the days after. | Do not blame yourself or them. |
Read the full chapter – Chapter 9: Depression and Low Mood
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More on this topic: Depression and low mood – signs, causes and the way back
More questions
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- What are the types of depression?
- What causes depression?
- Depression across age groups – what to know about depression
- Understanding depression and suicide risk
- Understanding diagnosis and assessment – depression
- How is depression treated?
- Psychotherapy in the treatment of depression
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- What can I do for myself when I feel low?