After the Baby – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
From the book – Chapter 9: Depression and Low Mood
After the Baby
Fatima gave birth to a healthy girl six weeks ago in Dubai, far from her mother in Karachi. Everyone says she should be happy. Instead she cries while feeding and wakes at night even when the baby sleeps. She worries she is a bad mother and sometimes thinks her family would manage better without her.
Her husband works long hours and says, "Everyone is tired with a newborn." Her mother-in-law visits and tells her to eat and rest. Fatima smiles for visitors, then weeps in the bathroom. She feels no joy when the baby smiles and is ashamed of that.
What this story explains
This story shows depression in women, linked to hormones, life changes and pressure to be happy, and why it must be noticed early.
How to recognise it
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Low mood, tearfulness, guilt or numbness lasting more than two weeks after childbirth.
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Struggling to bond or feeling no joy with the baby.
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Poor sleep even when the baby sleeps, little appetite, strong anxiety.
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Thoughts of being a bad mother or of not wanting to live.
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Hiding feelings from family out of shame.
What to do
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Tell someone how you really feel, such as a partner, nurse or doctor.
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Share baby care so she can get a longer block of sleep.
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Keep simple routines of meals, daylight and a short walk.
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Connect daily with a supportive person.
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Do not wait for it to pass; seek professional help early.
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If there are thoughts of harming herself or the baby, keep the baby safe, stay with her and call the local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital.
Do and don’t
| Do | Don’t |
|---|---|
| Ask how she is, not only how the baby is. | Do not say 'you have everything to be happy about'. |
| Take over chores. | Do not compare with other mothers. |
| Let her rest. | Do not criticise her care of the baby. |
| Reassure her that this is an illness, not a failing. | Do not leave her alone for long if she is very low. |
| Go with her to appointments. | Do not hide her condition out of shame. |
Read the full chapter – Chapter 9: Depression and Low Mood
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More on this topic: Depression and low mood – signs, causes and the way back
More questions
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- What is the difference between normal sadness and depression?
- What are the signs of depression?
- What are the types of depression?
- What causes depression?
- Depression across age groups – what to know about depression
- Understanding depression and suicide risk
- Understanding diagnosis and assessment – depression
- Is it sadness or depression? The signs to look for
- What can I do for myself when I feel low?