Where Did I Put the Keys, Again? – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
From the book – Chapter 31: Later-Life and Dementia-Related Care
Where Did I Put the Keys, Again?
Mrs Lakshmi, seventy-eight, lived with her son Arvind and his wife in Chennai. For the last year she had been repeating questions, leaving the gas on once, and getting lost on the lane to the temple she had visited for forty years. She covered it with jokes, but she cried when she could not recall her granddaughter's school.
Her family argued. Arvind said, 'She is just old.' His wife thought it was attention seeking. Then a neighbour found Mrs Lakshmi standing confused near the main road, unable to say where home was.
What this story explains
This story shows the chapter's point that memory change needs assessment, because depression can mimic dementia, and that early diagnosis and safety planning still improve life when dementia is real.
How to recognise it
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Progressive trouble with memory, such as repeating questions or missing recent events.
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Getting lost in familiar places, or confusion about time and place.
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Difficulty with words, calculations, or judgement affecting daily life.
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Mood change, withdrawal, or sleeplessness alongside the memory problems.
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Decline over months rather than a single bad day.
What to do
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Note examples with dates: missed bills, lost routes, repeated questions.
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Visit the doctor together, with a list of medicines.
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Ask for a check of mood, blood tests and a memory assessment.
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Make the home safer: gas, stairs, doors, identity card with address.
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Keep routine, cognitive stimulation and social contact.
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Plan early for the future, including legal and care decisions, while she can take part.
Do and don’t
| Do | Don’t |
|---|---|
| Do get an assessment early. | Don't assume it is only ageing. |
| Do check mood and medicines too. | Don't test or quiz her repeatedly. |
| Do keep her routine familiar. | Don't hide the diagnosis from her without reason. |
| Do include her in decisions. | Don't argue about facts she has forgotten. |
| Do plan safety at home. | Don't leave dangers unaddressed. |
Read the full chapter – Chapter 31: Later-Life and Dementia-Related Care
Stories from real life
- Just Getting Old, Said the Family – Mr Hargreaves, seventy-two, had been a head teacher in Manchester. Since retiring two years ago and losing his wife last winter, he had stopped going to…
- The Carer Who Forgot Herself – Grace, fifty-eight, had cared for her husband Tom in Cork since his dementia diagnosis three years earlier. He no longer knew the day, woke at night,…
- The Empty Flat on Raja Street – Mr Fernandes, seventy, lived alone in Mumbai since his wife died and his children moved abroad. He ate lunch at a different tiffin place each day…
- When Dad Became Another Person – After two small strokes, Mr Okafor, seventy-six, was living in Lagos with his daughter, Chidinma. Over the last year he had become confused in the evenings,…
More on this topic: Ageing well, memory loss and dementia – caring for elders
More questions
- The Carer Who Forgot Herself – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
- The Empty Flat on Raja Street – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
- When Dad Became Another Person – what this story teaches, the signs and what to do
- What can we learn from the story “Ramesh”?
- Understanding the load of later life
- Understanding depression is not “normal ageing” – later life and dementia
- Understanding dementia – later life and dementia
- What support looks like?
- Understanding the family myth – later life and dementia
- What is true: late-life depression is…?